holier than thou

watched boston public last night .. its either boston or some wacky taiwanese variety show .. i think i choose boston hands down . variety shows are interesting but can be perfectly lame n slapstick at times. its humour falls flat n is totally wasted on me. unless of course i m toatlly stressed n in dire need to unwind.

anyway the shows like boston, oc , smallville always seems to haf a msg.. its like touches on issues tt sets u thinking .. hmm this episode is bout this boy who claims to be a messenger of god n jesus .. apparently he s really holy n helped touched the lives of many students in the sch in the study room.. however , this particular teacher who lost faith in god frowned upon this n wanted the boy to stop watever he was doing though apparently he was really helping lots of pple cope with hteir lives n even the priest thinks his heart is in the right place. anyway the thing is this big bully picked on him n beat him to a pulp ! APPARENTLY fights in this is sch arent uncommon n students usually haf to fend for themshelves n retaliate in order to protect themshelves. howver this boy didnt even lift a finger. there was no anger in him only pity in his eyes when he stared at the bully with a bleeding forehead n broken jaw n nose ... the teacher was stupped n asked him why didnt he fight back ... the boy did not ans him instead he held the teacher s hand n said.. u lost ur faith.. but dun worry i m here now .. ( ok this might sound real psychotic when i narrate it like this but i assure u its nothing close to psychotic)

the thing is yea i believe in trying to be holy n all tt but to the point of being defenseless n not caring bout ur safety ?? hmm.. well maybe if its scheming n vicious rumours tt i can still endure n forgive but obviously i cant forget it. i mean things will change n may not be close friends anymore but i wont retaliate.. but this kind of physical bashing?? hmm i hope i ll never haf a chance to find out wat my rxn would be!

sth the angels gave me

just wanted to make a note here b4 i forget again so tt i ll sorta remmebver this for the rest of my life n be grateful for the rest of my life hhaha ok i m being melodrammatic again! will never forget the times zul n serene remind me of exams venue n timing b4 the actaul thign think its really thoughtful n sweet i mean who will actually remember to remind a blur person like me to come for exams at balh blah time n place??????????? goodness i was sosos touched haiz u gals really really made my day ........ ok think i ll get them to read this dun thnk they haf a habit of blogging n natty thanks so much for helping me publicise how blur i am ! and amy baby thanks for allthe sweet gd luck msges sent n yea u too mervina haha .. i was also really touched by the concern shown when i "lost " my notes at YIH hahha u guys really seacrch high n low for me (joo, amy n merv) really grateful for tt ... felt tt some pple really cared i guess this sorta suppis so impt to me at crucial exam times like these.............
and such a coincidence the one who found them is jialun!!! hahaa

anyway.. sth else tt really strikes me.. the other side of this dude i ve known since i stepped into uni. i really really think he s real nice now .. i mean i ve heard stuff tt are not so nice bout him since day 1 n that "playing with pples mind is his forte" n he heck cares bout all the admin related stuff tt he s suppt o do. nothing i heard about him is gd but then again i really didnt think he was tt bad just a bad habbit of doin tt i supp.. but but but ................... he s like a totally new person in my cca now .. he does admin work treats it seriously n comes for nearly every training really really i m just so inspired by his change it makes me really believe that the pple ard u all the goodness in the world tt surrounds u n pple treating u with sincerity can really change things n do a lot of gd.(ok i m starting to sound like a preacher n a crazed over-enthusiast of a manic do-good cult ) but get the point .. its like it really brought out the best in him ... real happy for tt seriously... my world of no political strife, no warring bitches.. all nice pple .. sth i help try to promote haah of course in a subtle way(pls dun picture me gg ard like a bitch police lecturing to gossipers bout the sins of the world!!!)

sth the angels gave me

just wanted to make a note here b4 i forget again so tt i ll sorta remmebver this for the rest of my life n be grateful for the rest of my life hhaha ok i m being melodrammatic again! will never forget the times zul n serene remind me of exams venue n timing b4 the actaul thign think its really thoughtful n sweet i mean who will actually remember to remind a blur person like me to come for exams at balh blah time n place??????????? goodness i was sosos touched haiz u gals really really made my day ........ ok think i ll get them to read this dun thnk they haf a habit of blogging n natty thanks so much for helping me publicise how blur i am ! and amy baby thanks for allthe sweet gd luck msges sent n yea u too mervina haha .. i was also really touched by the concern shown when i "lost " my notes at YIH hahha u guys really seacrch high n low for me (joo, amy n merv) really grateful for tt ... felt tt some pple really cared i guess this sorta suppis so impt to me at crucial exam times like these.............
and such a coincidence the one who found them is jialun!!! hahaa

anyway.. sth else tt really strikes me.. the other side of this dude i ve known since i stepped into uni. i really really think he s real nice now .. i mean i ve heard stuff tt are not so nice bout him since day 1 n that "playing with pples mind is his forte" n he heck cares bout all the admin related stuff tt he s suppt o do. nothing i heard about him is gd but then again i really didnt think he was tt bad just a bad habbit of doin tt i supp.. but but but ................... he s like a totally new person in my cca now .. he does admin work treats it seriously n comes for nearly every training really really i m just so inspired by his change it makes me really believe that the pple ard u all the goodness in the world tt surrounds u n pple treating u with sincerity can really change things n do a lot of gd.(ok i m starting to sound like a preacher n a crazed over-enthusiast of a manic do-good cult ) but get the point .. its like it really brought out the best in him ... real happy for tt seriously... my world of no political strife, no warring bitches.. all nice pple .. sth i help try to promote haah of course in a subtle way ! ( pls do not picture me gg ard like a bitch police trying to lecture to gossiping grps bout the ills n sins of the world!) i hope it lasts ...... anyway i ll relish in it while it lasts !

i shall NOT do a one way traffic!!!!!!!!!!!!

had cheer pract yesterday it was the first time we re doing a full routine or rather getting started on one.. the coach made clear the commitment level expected from us fromt he start.. which is no less than 80 percent .. to me cheerleading is really fun i mean i m not crazy over it or anything but i really enjoy the sport no other strings attached .. i enjoy dancing, i love teamwork n interaction tt comes with it. i like doing stunts but i m so not into flying .. so its really every phy thing i enjoy all rolled into one.
I thot i loved martial arts ok i used to love martial arts but looking back i realised it was really nothing short of a love hate relationship haha haiz. i like the stunts n kicks but i hate the discipline tt comes with it i mean this sort of discipline is the lone ranger kind it s theworst kind of discipline ever!practise alone get it down to a science alone i feel so deprived of company when during training .. in fact i joined martial arts in the first place cos i wanted to find a more "useful" alt to dancing. i thought dance was kinda useless but fun at first so i switched .. being practical as usual but i realised i did not enjoy it as much AND the muscles i get from martial arts not very appealing to say the least my leg muscles esp it took me a LONg time to get rid of them !
now.. back to cheerleading... excited to make into the team but the thing is i do not want to be the one who s ultra super duper hyped up by onli one thing in my life which is cheerleading n gets ready to bounce off the walls whenever im ont he topic! ok i mean ..... in sec sch i would be like tt whatever is happening within my life at tt time i would be soso into it 100 percent n drive friends crazy by gushing ranting over it.. hmm think tts not the way it shld be... i shouldnt neglect other aspects of my life like the taekwondo camp i m supp to help out with ! die.......... n shld i be councilor for engine camp ???? or engine o week??? sounds tempting.... n oh ya my jobbb i ve yet to contact the solid works person haizzzzzzzzz i realised i closed up too much during yr one like i m so afraid o flunk
(which was a huge n grave concern) and i just neglected all my friends n avoided making new friends cos i felt i just had no time for them waht a silly gal .. i think everyone is a social creature n needs to interact with pple to keep their sanity in check . since upper sec i love meeting pple n is a die hard chatterbox.. n never extremely gd at studies .. think i score higher points at entertaining pple
wat a sad thing haha i think i was gg against the forces of nature to reverse tt trend. anyway now i think ill just do the necessary like keepin my job to earn my keep (earning $4 per hr is hardly earning my keep i m more ex than tt!) but due to cheer pract i ve little options i need a flexi job ...for me to keep to my commitments most of the time .. n my next responsibility tkd camp........ n then conc on trying to enjoy them haha i ll enjoy cheer but will try to do other stuff well too so i wont rant on n on bout cheer n do a one way traffic without the traffice lights again..
wat chirsty chung said is true the key iot happiness in life is not about reading the dai lama its about balance...............

a difference great friends make

21st b dae came n gone it was the a celebration of friendship n love sth thats priceless n no amt of dancing n hard partying can buy .. the warmth of my family bdae dinner at marriot!! the pressies tt came haha ..it was coincidental tt my best pal also celeb hers there with her friends, the sweet effort of my uni friends from all walks of engine(i mean how many pple would actaully put a box of strawberries n choc with a candle in the middle of the streets with party hats on their heads ! hahaah oh my must haf looked a sight! i realise the box of strawberries must haf made them look even more cock !! hahah but it was so sweet i lurrrrrve strawberries! n the sweetness of my three precious babes the free shopping trip!! yea! more imptly the quality time spent with them... oh n lastly free movie with fred after watching kym ng at jurong pt on sun

wat do u make of???

how do u tell someone really cares for u ?

wat do u make of the one who tells u sweet things n does silly n actually rather stupid actions ?
do u think tt is lasting?i dun think so.. so then, do u shun him? but then again its never for certain if this is lasting or not unless u like him too n give it a shot ..
this guy is a die heart romantic one who believes in giving his lady the best he could n would go to great extent to please her sth like the dead n gone species of the medival kinght in shinning armour
i think... do anything but, dun raise his hopes ..dun take advantage of the naive...
then again .. does it necessarily mean he s naive??
maybe... maybe not.. but one thing s for sure ..my heart is definitely not with him ...

wat do u make of the one who loves u unconditionally, is not romantic but does little stuff (impt stuff) not to show he cares, but, does them because he really cares..? is my heart with him?


wat do u make of the one who has many faces n shows a different side to different pple , who is smooth n experienced...one who is definitely a player .. u dun wan to play his game but ...are u game enough to handle such an aquiantance? then u wonder .. do these pple ever settle down ?!

wat do u make of the one who subtlely cares, makes life easy for u (n i mean MUCH easier) treats u lunch maybe bordering between friends n acquaintance.. however u re but tongue - tied not really becos he makes ur heart pound rather u re afraid of offending the person in question n u dun really dig into wat he bellieves so every word outta ya mouth will be like a curse in his face..but he s a nice fellow .. however in watever sense u remain ever grateful but a little guilty all the same

girls out there if ur heart is free n could belong to anyone which would u choose to marry if u had the choice and which will u date?? hahah

last question:
what do i make of myself? how can i be void of feelings is this how grown ups feel i turned 21 onli to realise some things .. i m no longer the gal who is easily touched my heart is no longer easily won .. i m no longer the 19 yr old who is gets infatuated easily (i mean tts supp to be gd) ..

i no longer haf groups of galfriends who loves watching gd looking guys coyly at one corner n whispering among ourshelves .. we were never the bold n loud sort (came from a cheena sec sch seems like the gals there are really shy n procrastinate a lot (sometimes it really got on my nerves cos so indecisive !!! n wait for other s to make decisions tts y i m always the one making decisions realise tt was bad 2 yrs ago cos i was used to doing wat I wanted to do n grew to expect pple would take up my lead .. bad bad habbit but since then think i ve grown to be more sensitive n considerate to wat others want... ok digression!)but still the teenage heart is ever vunerable we would never go up to get to know them never but would hope in our little pounding hearts they would notice us .. haha it was like an unspoken rule .. onli get to know guys if they approach u not the other way round cos its not ladylike hahahah i thought it was so sexist n was iindignant but well i did not want to be the odd one out .. anyway those little galfriends of mine they grew up to be my best friends .. one of them just wanted to find her true love n get married n setle down but alas it was not to be.. ohh she met many guys alright they came knocking on her door BUT the guys she met are atrocious!!! i was FURIOUS but i guess she learnt her lesson the hard way.. n she changed .. two major changes took place in her n i m glad to be with her when they took place however, i m so sorry i wasnt exactly there for her busy with jc busy with nus but i hope i ll be a better friend... first change, she learnt tt she shouldnt depend on guys totally n friends are very impt .. next stage.. some fundamentals of her beliefs changed n she knows the difference bout being bitter bout guys n now she adopts a positive mentality n knows tt wat she wants is to balance career n family with someone who loves her n she loves .. its not easy to achieve a seemingly simple thing like this but i know she deserves the best n we ll look out for each other..(dun get me wrong! i ve nothing agianst guys! i m not the "all guys are bastards n women in the world unite ! " )kinda person .. i just believe anyone can make a mistake n we should be positive bout it n be aware of it too ..
how do u know u really really love someone? i know pple shld care for each other but .. heres antoher issue
do u prefer someone who cares for everyone n anyone mr nice guy
or a onli care for my gf n others i m not obliged to do anything kind of adoring bf??
which do most gals prefer? the 1s type well some may feel u re sharing him
the sec one well wat say u??

kingdom of heaven .. a seemingly boring show at first turns out to be one which has given me new insight to life n has reaffirm my beliefs in certain issues. I'll start on the more trivial aspect of the movie.. Orlando Bloom is SOOOOOOOO CUUTTE ok not in an elfish golden haired way, this time ard he is potrayed in a more manly fashion with his nicely shaped goatee n wavy hair. He cuts a rugged yet gentlemanly figure which makes him give the vibes of a knight and not a barbarian. Eva Green is RAVISHING. She is so beautiful, her eyes are mesmerising, in my opinion, she has an innocent yet alluring look that underlies a certain wisdom that is beyond her years. haha what a paradox. Anyway, both of them remind me of two people I am acquianted with, especially Eva Green..

Enough said about the eye candy onscreen, I really think wat the movie has to depict is very inspiring n has tugged my heart strings..It reminded me of the stuff I have infered from the Da Vinci code by Dan Brown. The weighty issues about the Catholic church and the guarding of the holy grail by the templer knights. Anyway , talking bout htis , channel news asia is having a programme shown on twelve may i thnk bout the da vinci code n holy grail. So interesting! i hope to catch it now trying to figure out how to record it ..
Each time a land is to be conquered, those who wage war to claim lands always justify it a being a will o f god and it is their "holyland" .. all these are just excuses .. the simple truth is tt it is another quest for land n food n water ... the noble notions just serve one purpose to glorify the warriors who fought n bring glory to the conqueror..there is no kinder way to put it.

actaully if one looks deeper into the show, (ok i m not implying i m deep but this is just what i inferred) one could tell tt the show is depicting the war bet terrorists n the so called "civilised world". Saladin the turban headed dude sounds uncannily like bin ladin. Makes you wonder whether the crusuaders of the past were the civilised ones or terrorists. they all have one thing in common that is they seek, conquer n destroy lives n property in the name of god ..

anyway, guess one has to live life without letting material ambitions get into their heads and do the necessary first.. necessary meaning like get a job so as to earn ya own keep tt kinda thing other ambituions lie rising to some post all will let nature takes its course as long as one does a gd job tts enough cos all the material stuff inthe world has no value when judgement day comes its the soul u ll have to keep forever..

anyway went jurong pt to watch the show aft checking outta hall .. in the perfect ten, the theme was the most ravishing figure n the woman who won it well it was really really the most touching scene she was 31 n had a child the boy was quite big like 8 or 7 when pple started voting for her wow she was deeply touched n crying when her husband cried for where i stood i could see that their hearts were as one n they felt what each other felt it was sth onli they could fully understand. as onlookers u can just admire the scene n glad ur e part of it. the 1st runner up was this beijing 26 yr old gal with huge boobs size e cup woiw but she s very slimmm seriosuly.. n tall n fair .. n they really had a way with words her bf n her really entertaining haha

anyway.. better jot down my hols journal b4 i froget like a memory..
day 0ne shopping with yellow chick n jooojjoo
day two move stuff frm hall still duno wat to do with my bks though
3. labour day went out with kiddo to look for job n had THE lunch
4. started work i think
5. met dearest preciosu ling n fred
6. work again interesting things happen ..
7. jiali 's party at night n cheer the next day
8. cheer n work damn tired
9. the ay is history went marriot n met a bahamas fellow so interesting
10. work n learn stuff on the job
11. bdae!! real touched by friends who remebered n msged me they mean so much to me thnaks guys

-believe in humanity-

its three days into my 3mth long hols.. still scouting for my dream holiday job at a garage heheh besides hanging out in town every other day at least durimg this hols i got myself a job so things are kinda diff n i really dun buy any unnecessary stuff n slurge money like water.. these 2 factors enables me to go easy on my conscience though i go out almost everyday at least i m still responsible cos sorta earning my own keep haha its a pyschological thing.. anyway gg out with friedns n interacting with pple has reminded me n given me further insight on how "ugly" some pple can be.. their moral values are questionable to put it mildly and the most disturbing thing is that they re nonchalant about it and treat it as part n parcel of life.. these pple really got major issues man .. ok maybe their mindset n their shocking behaviour that they exhibit may be attributed to their environment and the line of biz sometimes i dunno wat to make out of the situation. i feel tt these pple are not necessarily all out bad they re misguided in a major way. actually "misguided" encompasses a broad spectrum of undesirable behaviour. I feel tt its one thing to haf desires n another thing to cooerce n tempt others with promises into doing sth immoral due to one's own selfishness. its precisely this aspect tt sickens me .. fine! nobody is perfect n some are more wayward than others but its so selfish n wrong to influence others who are still very much vunerable into making a mistake he/she might regret for the rest of their lives. This i feel is the epitome of selfishness and it is this tts makes me disappointed.. and sometimes the more i see of such things he more i feel tired n the more i lose faith in humanity ..
personally, based on the concept of tolerance n acceptance, i think tt an immoral lone ranger is really far more forgivable than an immoral conqueror. i feel tt this selfish species is akin to an epidemic. its really hard to respect these pple n work with them or even look them straight in the eye..the "robinhood" in me is just dying to surface n say "i know wat u did!! how could u live with urself !! tsk tsk !!! " bu i know tts so not wise and stupid and yes i admit naive and ok fine! childish is a better word. i mean this entry is not meant to chatise these grp of immoral conquerors it is to discuss n analyse them n try to understand them a little more since i m so clueless to why they enjoy doing it.

however, there is but one particular type of behaviour which i m still trying my best to come to terms with.. n that is pple who like playing mind games n get a kick outta it for now, {like i said i m trying my best to tolerate this} i really cannot stand it when someone trys to use persuasion skills to VEHEMENTLY persuade one into doin something she/he wants. that is SO selfish .. somehow whenever this behaviour is exhibited if the victim were me, i would instinctively apply newton's 3rd law n be on defensive mode n it ll show all over my face. n if the person trys too hard like a potential murderer with a knife hidden beneath a smiley face i would really just say sth out front n then keep silent n next day avoid the person like a disease.. i mean i feel tt its better than trying to play a game of words with hidden meanings and controlled facial expressions n see who will emerge winner out of this game n i know one of the tactics commonly uised is the player is not getting anywhere near his destination is putting u down n making fun of u tt is just so low.. ok some pple who likes things to go their way does it unconsiously n tt is definitely forgivable n one shld just remind them when they re at it. i think for this grp of pple i shld really learn to bear with it n try to master the art of telling them w/o embarrassing them if theyre my friends but for those who does it knowingly man ! u shld really reflect on urself! i mean i really pity them they dun get satisfaction out of the better things in life n are happy when they re stepping allover other pple this i feel is a perverse sense of pleasure n in this lifetime one is doom to be surrounded by feelings of animosity n be deprived of the joy found in sincerity n the warmth of self sacrificing friendship .. tt is very pitiful i just cannot feel an once of sympathy for these pple only pity haiz .. at least for the lone ranger who commits sins i can try to understand them n sometimes sincerely try to help them using gd influence i mean everyone makes mistakes maybe to them its no longer a mistake it has become a lifestyle i mean i ve some major bad points too n its a lifelong task to cope with them.for the sinful conqueror welli do feel sad for them cos i m sure all these stem from the insecurities n perhaps they had their own fair share of bad exp n stopped believing in humanity. at least with these pple u can still find a few redeeming qualities n as long as u stand ur ground n when talking to them try to offer a new insight into an alternative lifestyle n show them how beautiful life can be even if u re not selfishly trying to influence others to get wat u want.. its ultimately one's own choice i mean tts the whole point of freewill but u can certainly give a new perspective though it may bot be easy..


however the mind players i still cannot cometo terms with this oh dear i really cant control my expressions n emotions when it comes to this sometimes u just so tempted to give them a taste of their own medicine (more like poison) but i know if i do tt i would become sth i loathed the most n how ironic will tt be! i guess i guess i ll just haf to avoid them for now till i can deal with them in a not so childish way

anyway , sometimes the things u hear n see esp in the outside world outside the safe grey buildings of nus engine is so frightening n surreal i mean i SERIOUSLy had no idea such pple exisisted ok now i m making them seem like a new breed of species n alienating them. ok i ve heard of such pple thru magazines like cleo n her world n seen such pple in drama series.. but personally knowing such pple never! i mean after my a levels during the hols ive met quite a bit of new peeps n explored ard quite a bit n learnt a few lessons in life .. now as i m growing up into adulthood i realise tt true there are such ple who mask their undesirable motives under a facade and they want u to believe a certain way about them. but i refuse to give in i refuse to believe tt is the onli way to survive n go far in this world .. i would rather remain a pauper all my life than to give up my believe in the finer non material things in life inthe process i would hang on to my believe in humanity cos thats the onli thing tt gives u hope n the world doesnt seem so dreary after all ....

freedom never tasted soo sweett

end of exams was celebrated with a bang ! it ended with a birthday song dedicated to jimmy in a chorus of very very loud vvoices he had a whole audience in mpsh to witness his celebration .... finally the end but all of us were so drained and tired at the end of the paper.. we were torn betweeen slping n gg to town.... but most of us were not dressed to go to town hahah i was mismatched as usual n joo was in her glasses as she did not slp the whole night!!!!but we could resist it no longer n hitched a ride in jimmy s vehicle which he dented when trying to park! his doggie loofy was also one of the passengers! the dog is sooooooooooooooo cute kawaii n wat a BABY ! hereally is one pet dying for affection my god he licked all over my FACE when i was carrying him while jimmy drives aaaahh i was screaming in th ecar while joo n amy laughed their heads off ! too bad my hp batt empty if not i cld haf taken pics of him... me, joo, amy shopped at taka today n we took 4 whole hourss the guess bags are sooo nice ok way beyond budget but other bags cant hold a candle to them ... i think i better get a job if i wanna enjoy my holss we wanted to catch a movie buttttttt the timing too late i haven watched one since cny!! pathetic me i ve no life ok correction as clement said THIS is my life noww anyway was satisfied for the day............. slp i need it badly tmr gg orchard to find a job there hehe then i can window shop everyday ..

a tribute to tv channel 5

i ve always loved the oc, smallville, csi miami , dark angel, last time it used to be buffy the vamp slayer , friends... now in addition i love reality tv amazing race the list goes on n on .. after a fedback test weeks ago i spent the entire night watching tv on 5.. i felt so so deprived .. i manged to catch csi!!n i saw a few new shows tt were really quite nice one is to dot with a psychic babe helping dead pple hmm sounds like some one i actually know .. hahah i always thought these shows were really interesting and they potray the lives of pple in another country something so different frm my world.. it makes me wanna live aboard..


when i was a kid hated sesame street thot the stuff they were trying to teach were pretty lame n the programme was going at such a slow pace.. i used to think cant they talk faster i m falling asleep alr! the show has diff segments n the part with the count i assumed was supp to teach kids maths but i really couldnt stand his slow n perfectly timed laughter ...äh ah ah ah"but i watched it anyway cos i wanted to see Elmo make his appearance i thot the red monster was so darn cute!!!!

local shows like triple nine hahaah well the onli reason i watched was to supp local artiste like wong lilin n james lye.. i thot everthing sucked when u compare it with shows like bay watch, NYPD blue ... but i have to say the current local shows have much more substance n i watch them not entirely cos of the eye candy they offer on screen .. the chase is nice ... but i still think channel eight is doing quite a lot better than channel five in terms of tv series .. think singapore film makers succeed at war films, potrayal of the 1960s or comedy sitcoms pretty well. think they still haf to work on action packed shows its not really convincing enough yet .. maybe it has sth to do with singapore itself?? cos we know such stuf dun really happen n wat is potrayed looks phony n pathetic? in comparison with other countries with their notorious mafia bosses n high tech syndicates .. the wanted criminal in singapore is most likely to be some crazy uncle or ah beng loan shark king in geylang ???